Tell me everything (March 10th 2020)
This is how the interaction often goes on a daily basis:
Them: “How are you ? how is San ?”
Me: I begin to open my mouth to respond. ”….
Them: “She looks so well, better than ever, Bet you were both made up her test results were stable. That’s brilliant news….”
Me …” well yes…but…..”
Them: “ So brilliant you’ve got to think positive …anyway blah blah blah changed subject ….”
I hear this a lot from people dealing with big stuff…
I get it… people don’t really want to know
…haven’t got room for it, don’t really want to hear, don’t know how to respond
I am the same with many things … my capacity to even enquire about stuff has reduced …
I can barely hold my own life together most days!
So mostly when I don’t have space to listen I don’t ask …
for me I feel its worse to ask and not mean it
So I will just say “ Hi ….., lovely to see you ….take care “
There are exceptions, my work, sitting in circle in a beautifully held allotted space and time … everyone gets to say it how it really is… uninterrupted… groundrules mean no one chips in with inane responses … its healing big time…
There are also a small group of people who are fucking beautiful safe beacons …
I would like more of them, but they are rare birds…
the gift they bring can’t be tamed or forced- they arrive in their own time like pure grace…
When we can get together I usually say “ Now tell me everything” …
not “how are you?” or “hows things?”
Just “TELL ME EVERYTHING” ….
I am here,
I am listening and I am not going to skip over the difficult messy, dark bits ….
It is a delicious mix of juicy deep souls, right timing and a chunk of space dedicated to that other person
It can’t happen everyday, or in passing in the middle of town, because we would never get to where we are going .. it is mad enough walking down Bold Street as it is
But when it does happen it is priceless …
Here is a toast to the “ tell me everything” times and the “tell me everything” people …
Originally posted March 10th 2020
Original Comments: 1) It's a privilege to listen to your 'everything' XX
2) Great post. There is an interesting piece with a similar theme on this radio programme ..The Digital Human. Its the episode called "Connections" and is towards the middle www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000fwcp
So much agree that if you haven't got the emotional space to respond to someone...its best not to ask. It is so exhausting to keep having to say you are OK when you are not. And yet, all of us, don't always have the emotional energy/space to respond meaningfully.
Loving your blogs. x