I will carry the Hag Stone home (originally published late 2021)
Sandra Richardson at the end you couldn’t see which broke my heart ... I do believe you could see my spirit very clearly when you looked at me with those big blue eyes so intensely so many times over the last three months and especially the last few days and told me so much ... like you had to impart what you were seeing in the liminal space you were in to me to know and share and I will in time ... you took the phone and despite not being able to see more than a tiny bit you finished this poem based on my painting which you said for you represented the journey you were on and you told me to find the poem after you had gone in your notes on your phone ... you break my heart girl. You once said that I had come to open your heart to expressing deep emotions and now you were good at it you were going to start getting me back - a taste of my own good medicine you said ... sigh ... this is the poem
I will carry
the hag stone home
my love
As all the worlds wolves
howl with our mourning
Our wedding stone of earth
destined for the heavens now
From earth
through eternal stars
The place
This centre of universal
Is ours
It's such great pain
to fly ahead
and leave you here
to grieve
I cradle your head
Your lungs to breathe
look deep in your eyes
Our souls Intertwined
We fly on my love
Fly on
I will
carry the hag stone
home.
A Beloved Grief … diary entries and writing by Clare Jasmine Beloved after the death of her wife, Sandra Richardson from metastatic secondary breast cancer.
You can find other writings from Clare about grief and loss here
Links to Secondary Breast Cancer charities we support https://www.secondary1st.org.uk and https://www.make2ndscount.co.uk Macmillan Cancer Support Helpline : 0808 808 00 00. Marie Curie support and info : https://www.mariecurie.org.uk
Sandra Richardson REST IN POWER & POETRY 13.2.64 - 25.8.21
Originally published late 2021
Original comment left by Diane: “Oh Clare, I have mixed feelings reading these blog posts. I feel that they are your intimate words to each other. That makes me feel wrong to be in that space where I don't belong. But you need to express this way. You want these words out 'there', so I want to support you in that by reading them. I can't change a thing but I am here to make sure at least some of these words are shared with someone who respects them xx”