Night Lights (originally published 22 October 2021)

I love the moon

the way I loved you …

in open mouthed wonder …

I woke you once

to show you it’s brightness

you called me a crank

then got up for a smoke

in the cold night

and came back with bad photos

of a blurry white dot on your phone

and cold feet

which I warmed between my soft warm thighs

and we laughed at our beautiful ridiculous life

and told old stories we had heard many times.

You told me you used to monitor how much sleep you’d had

but that I had cured you of that …

and I said good

because there is nothing more precious

than waking in the middle of the night

to watch the moon together and laugh

you left when she was full and bright

perfectly timed to lead your way

now I wake at 3am each night

and now she beams in the air

like a newly lit night light …

and there are tears

instead of laughter

a whole aching echoing space

and a reflected night light

in the river for me too …

you are air

I am water“

A Beloved Grief … diary entries and writing by Clare Jasmine Beloved after the death of her wife, Sandra Richardson from metastatic secondary breast cancer.

You can find other writings from Clare about grief and loss here

Links to Secondary Breast Cancer charities we support https://www.secondary1st.org.uk and https://www.make2ndscount.co.uk

Macmillan Cancer Support Helpline : 0808 808 00 00.

Marie Curie support and info : https://www.mariecurie.org.uk

Sandra Richardson REST IN POWER & POETRY 13.2.64 - 25.8.21

Originally published late 2021