TWO: SAN FRANCISCO SPAS, BATH HOUSES, MUD AND POSH SAWDUST
Anne has reminded me that on the first trip to San Francisco the deeply divine Ronita Johnson had taken us to Napa Valley to a spa that was like a luxury ranch ?! Or have I made that setting up from reading too many bad romance novels ... I had forgotten that this was on that trip ... I remember her incredible generosity driving us miles in the bright sunshine to the most magical place which all felt distinctly like an otherworldly movie set. I looked over at Anne at one point and wobbled my head in wonder as we sat in deep freestanding baths having mud packed around us which felt gorgeous. Then someone brought us juice and placed straws in our mouths as we were tightly packed in the earth. Now I’m unpacking them ...all the memories of the trips have over the years merged into one juicy box of muddled moments. I could write whole chapters about massages and spas, baths and hot springs on my travels in California ...
I am trying to remember when I went to the women’s baths in the city ...i think it was with my lovely ex lynne .. but truly it’s all a bit jumbled so I’m willing to be set straight so to speak if it was with someone else eek ! We had a guide book with a small section on lesbian and gay things to do / ha ha ! It said “you may wonder where all the lesbians are ? They are either in AA or in the women’s baths ! We went to both .... and sure enough there were lesbians galore .... I loved the baths but didn’t quite know what I was supposed to be doing and everyone seemed very cool so I avoided eye contact and told lynne to stay by me and don’t leave me alone ! It was my perfect combination of hot baths and cool open air breezes. My memory is telling we sat on the roof top terrace semi naked wrapped in towels overlooking the city but this could be pure fantasy... was there even a roof top ? And our conclusion was that these San Francisco lesbians had the right idea and were much cooler than us and wondering if we should open a Women’s bath house in Toxteth ! I think it closed soon afterwards and we were so glad we had visited.
Another time years after that first visit with Anne ... Mary Corrigan and Michele Feher drove me to a beautiful Japanese spa which may have been called Osmosis where we seemed to lie in huge wooden vats filled with what I remember as chunky sawdust but which I now realise was some kind of warm fine sacred divine cedar. We lay there as we were covered neck to toe in it with just our little heads sticking out and did someone almost rake over us so it was smooth and flat ? ... it was deeply serious ritual and deadly quiet until one of us / maybe me, maybe Michelle, maybe Mary ...announced “welcome to California ...” and we all burst out laughing for a long time until my posh cedar sawdust began to tremble and break up and my breasts began to break free from my little cocoon ...a very serious spa assistant came in and gave me a look and packed the cedar round me again as I tried to regain some composure and think serious thoughts ...
It is funny what is at the tip of my peri menopausal mushy memory ... distinct moments, the feelings of being held in earth, wood, friendship and uncontrollable snorting belly jiggling laughter ... this is what remains ... but as I let myself remember - beyond so many things I have had to try to forget - more and more gorgeous moments break free and come to the surface...
Eventually I found my way to Esalen at Big Sur, where the hot baths were another level of magic and yet again my breasts made a bid for freedom - I can feel a juicy pattern emerging.
It was here in the l hot pools by the sea that I wrote this poem from "love, hope and high heels"
All at Sea
Hot tub heaven
perched at edge of ocean
I am stripped of pain
new born, all at sea
my naked body strange to me
somehow exotic in foreign light
I am taken by surprise
my breasts rise up high
float above the surface
two carefree cream buoys
bobbing up and down
on my choppy sea
hopeful playful alive
I grab hold of them both
rescue myself
refuse to drown