Never too late for sorry (6th March 2020)

A message landed in my whats app last week …

It was the kind of healing balm you cant buy anywhere …

It was a “sorry”

an apology

a benediction of beauty

something in the defences round my heart softened

nerve endings danced, rearranged themselves and relaxed

an element of breath I had been unknowingly holding onto let itself go …

I won’t go into the situation from a few years ago, the drama doesn’t matter and never did

we all make mistakes and our painful edges mean sometimes we blame the person

whose shiny head is sticking above the parapet … in this case mine, my head

I didn’t deal with everything as well or perfectly as I could have …

nor did I rant and rave and defend myself to my community while I was under attack

I just had to trust that in time all would come to pass and time would help reveal some truth

… I forgot about it, moved on, believed that those who knew my heart most deeply knew my truth

having someone speak badly of you to your community is so vulnerable making and can loose work, contacts and possibilities…

but I have felt many times that it is best to hold my own and hold onto my integrity…

I am so grateful for the courage it took that person to say sorry

to explain the place they were in and reach out to me … that is a big person

…I am sure on the surface of things it feels much easier to push the places we haven’t been so kind to the back of our mind and not say sorry.

Having experienced the immense healing of this “sorry” …I am inspired to do some apologies of my own

There are so many people in my life who have hurt me deeply who will never say sorry or acknowledge the hurt and I feel sad for them …

I am off to write a list of any hurt I have caused that I can apologise for …

that is the power of the courage and love it took that person to message me …

It has a ripple effect, It matters

and it is never too late.

Originally published 6 March 2020

Original comment: You're right - it's true balm for the soul and breaks the closed places wide open within ourselves.