Say you are a writing a book…..because in a way we all are (4th March 2020)

I have brought myself away for my 47th birthday…

Needed a little retreat, just me and my thoughts and some time to think. ..

to think “whats next ?”

I have always loved to travel alone .. well lets rephrase that

I have always loved the idea of travelling alone

the reality is the first few days are usually spent not breathing fully and in some weird teenage angsty space wondering whether I am grown up enough to be let out alone in a foreign country and thinking people are saying why is that tragic woman alone … making myself leave the hotel room and go OUT, crying on the balcony… till I find my mojo

The reception asks “ is it just you … alone ? and tilts her head in a sympathetic way …

I want to say NO I come as a community, I have whole big congregation of love in my life I am so not alone

but instead I lift my sunglasses onto my head, look her straight in the eyes and say,

“I am writing a novel and need some time to write the next chapters”

her sympathy shifts immediately to a look of wide eyed wonder …

“a novel…” she says “ Oh wow, how glamorous and fantastic”

Followed by a gush of how she always wanted to write and has an unfinished novel under her bed

“ just do it!” I say with an air of authority

“life is fucking short”

“you think so?” she asks, like I am the oracle on these things

“I know so” I say

so there it is, an instant hack to reframe your adventure..

feel free to use this little trick to suddenly go from a sad figure of sympathy to a mysterious magical figure in one fell swoop …

the staff fall over themselves to bring me drinks and extra love … I suspect it is because they fear I will write them into my novel as a less than favourable character if they don't …

So here I am, as we all are, writing the next chapter of my book …

cutting huge swathes of nonsense that needs editing out …

musing on how to add some twists in the tale, because dear god we all need those…

and grateful for all the fabulous eccentric characters in my book …

if you are reading this that’s probably YOU

yes you

my life is full of strange characters, distinctive, well developed and crazy wild divine mad magical figures that somehow found their way into my story … in gigantic or tiny ways

at 47 that’s what I am grateful for… all this people who show up in the book of my life and keep me afloat, squeeze my hand, take the journey on a new path, create a twist in the tale, turn a chapter round, make me roll my eyes and groan, even those that play the perfect villain making everyone hiss and gasp… without you all the novel would be a dull lonely non starter

Here is to the writing the next chapter

onwards…

and as my mother in law like to say every time she sees me

“oh Clare …whatever next?” ….

4 MARCH 2020

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Never too late for sorry (6th March 2020)

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We are those women now (3rd March 2020)